Snowflake

If every snowflake is unique

Does that mean every snowfall is its own exponentially individual event?

Did this hardened, driving, icy pellet feel differently than last week’s drifting icing sugar?

What does ego sound like inside a cloud?

Bursting forth, a loosed race horse

Legs red hot with pent up fury and kinetic energy

Screaming from the sky

Meeting the sodden, fading green, winter-weary ground below

Does it change its mind when it lays down?

Cheeks cooling, gently interlacing fingers with the others nearby

Eyelids heavy, ready for a long night’s sleep

Waking in the morning to cresting sunrise

Shy smiles sparkling despite themselves

Blushing crystals, winking and twinkling in the January light

Under a warming sun they slide along a tree’s icy branches

Surrendering to gravity; to the current of a rivulet

Eyes closed

A whispered sigh

Energy dissipated

All as one again (as always before)

Individuality - an idea; uniqueness- a wish

Until the next storm gathers

And the curtain rises on the performers, once again

Challenge

Crunching gravel and rustling leaves
Sunshine, and birdsong, and wind on water
Mix equal parts binoculars and hiking shoes, let sit for 5 minutes: instant team
Shared joy and growing excitement
Butterflies flutter, dancing in the evening sun
The air buzzes with the sounds and feelings of night
Arbitrary rules never felt so powerful
Intense intent
Watching, listening, chasing, learning
Laughing
Wings beat overhead; a silhouette against gray sky
Eyes alight, delight with discovery
Efficient. Energetic. Ruthless. Competitive.
Go, go, go, go, go, go
Rain pours
Sun pours
Time stalls, stills and races in irregular pulses
Stop here - NOW! Perfect.
6 wide yellow eyes blink at us across the afternoon gloom
Then, in a flash, it's over
Victory - celebrating quietly; then cawing noisily, crows.
A success.
And I leave happier than I came; bringing home my own invisible trophy

Surface/Under

Hot wet July air above
Cold deep ancient dark below
I break the surface
Sun-warmed limbs bursting into the chill

I move in the tension zone
The sun showers down
Yellow, blinding, smiling
Raining heat
I plunge my face into the water
Blue, green, silent, empty

The only sound is the splash
That I make
As I dance clumsily
Between two worlds

The aquamarine is pierced
By ropes of translucent light
Rays penetrate deep into the cold
Beyond where I can see
… who's down there, watching me?

The still full lake is burst apart
By my eager fingers
Which comb through desperately
Black bubbles forming at my fingertips
Until they're whisked upward by the world above

Steadily, my hands and arms
Scratch a rhythm into the lake
Which is muted and swallowed
As soon as my feet kick away

Eventually, I'm ejected back to the surface
Panting, spent
The golden sun welcomes me back
Above rusting emerald-leaved maples

A deep breath

The coldest waters below
Tug my ankle
Once
.. smirking

Putting Pain to Paper

The black rotting gaping cavity
That yawned open in my heart
Spewed its venom through my veins
Filled my blood with dark pain

Aching in my fingertips
Blurring my brain's attempt to make peace
Leaving me a shell of what I was
Racking me with anger, tears, fear, clutching, grasping, gasping, sobbing

Swirling like a witches brew
Poisoning my breath
Withering my spirit

It took me
It broke me
I lost me

I feel it flowing out of me
Through the tip of my pen
My soul starts to tingle back to life
I hear you laughing
I put you everywhere you belong
Healing the raw open sores
That blighted the places where I loved you

It escapes through my tears
Trickles from my eyes, black and sour
It flows from my every footfall as I determinedly crunch through
the February snow

Your words, your faith in me
Your smile
Replaces the pain

The memories wash over me
Rinsing, cleansing, mending
I use them to plug the holes
Recirculate them to reinforce my strength

Pushing out the black
Inviting in the light

The world is so much worse
Without you here
But I know you can't come back
So I'll keep sending the pain out
And letting the good in

For you.

Swallowed

All is white
Muffling blanketing coating of white snow
Monochrome unchanging steely white sky
Imperceptible yet deafening silence
White noise
White house, white door, windows draped
In curtains of solid
White

My muted footsteps crunch across the white
My white breath puffs in front of me
White crystals form on my eyebrows
The chill of the air nips at my white cheeks

I feel it before I see it
A magnetic sucking, drawing all towards it
A glimmer of dark on the ivory landscape
Sound breaks through the static
A growl - a starved stomach, a wounded animal

My face turns away, determined, looking homeward
Traitor feet, though, step toward
The black mirage
Its energy crackles with angry darkness
Which bubbles in my chest

I move forward through the snow, closer now to it
An angry gaping mouth
A dark slash, a knife wound on alabaster skin
It's swallowing the white world

Huge chunks of white snow, like floes from icebergs
Topple inside
The white house's foundation crumbles at the edge
White cinder blocks crash into the deep

The black hole groans
Evilly satisfied
Devouring the clean, silent day
Growing larger and more powerful the more it absorbs

Examining its edge, I see two white boots
Toes perched on the precipice
Attach to legs, a torso
My heart
My eyes, alive with terror

Arms flailing
The white ground beneath me vanishing
And I am swallowed, too

January 16 2018

The world is too bright today
Sunshine blinds me
Glittering snow burns my cheeks
Laughter pierces; my eardrums vibrate painfully
Smiles warp into sharp-toothed advances

Soft fur under my hand is steel wool
The pillow under my head the jaws of life
Every bite of food
Leaves the metallic iron aftertaste
Of blood

The things that once meant something
Are fools errands, just filling time

Jokes rise into the air and freeze
Falling to the ground and shattering
Like breath on an arctic winter morning

My heart once beat with joy
Now every thump a dull ache
Squeezing, throbbing, breaking

You left, and you took the good with you
All I'm left with is artificial fluorescent light:
Harsh
Blinding
Abrasive

The world is too bright today

Forest Bathing

Dark green spindles, from long stark branches
Towering trees in soldier-straight formation
They reach out their arms to one another
Block the sun
A shadow falls heavily across the plantation floor
Barren, carpeted in the soft orange of years past

Life cannot thrive here
Or so I think

"Breathe deeply," she says
"Close your eyes and listen."
I hear silence
But then...

The rustle from above - an unseen bird fluttering from branch to branch
And the wind sliding through those tight boughs
And the creaks of gently yielding pines

"Now let's walk - go more slowly than you've ever walked before;
Look for movement"
Once again, I see nothing
Quiet emptiness, still and sterile
Until...

There is movement from the corner of my eye
And then a bright white clown-like face is peering inquisitively
At our slow-moving group
A nuthatch watching these padding, plodding, lady sloths

A yellowed leaf, not long for this shrub
Twirls dervishly in the a breeze I cannot feel
Frantic among the quiet understory
And an insect zooms through the air, just above me
Bound for the next tree

I crane my neck backwards
And see those orderly soldiers swaying together
Concert-goers, shoulder to shoulder
Gliding back and forth to an old favourite
The stir of September wind

At this speed
(Which feels like going backwards it's so slow
To my frantic and frenzied feet)
Even the quietest of nature comes alive
With sound, movement, sights and smells
And I see for the first time
The thrumming, humming jungle, packed with life
Where I thought there were only pine trees